The season of valentine is one which lovers and some very good friends look forward to because from its inception, it is a time to show love and also to feel loved in return. It is a time to give and receive gifts from loved ones; it is a time to share and enjoy, in short, it is fun. Most people choose to take out the Valentine’s Day and spend it with that special someone, enjoy their company, relive moments and revel in love. Married couples tend to use this period to rekindle their affection for each other and show their partners that they still mean the world to them. Heartfelt messages are exchanged and cakes are given; the colour code for the day is mostly red. It is an enjoyable season for many. For others, it is one where expectations are dashed, where the one you expected to show affection to you does not live up to your expectation. It is the season to find out whether you are in the friendzone or not, whether all the times she called you ‘boo’ were real or just for show. For some, their partners forget and it turns out to be a horrible day for them both because surely, that partner will not hear the end of it till February runs out. Hehehe… Those categories, my friend, I fall in none; I’m in my own zone, my own special category. When asked how the Valentine celebration was going to be, I smiled and replied “Forever Alone Valentine”.

So, in this period of Valentine, when my friends are receiving gifts, cakes and lovely messages from their girlfriends, I’m just here, thinking of how to type this post with no hope of receiving any gift at all. I bear no illusions whatsoever about receiving anything this period. I have narrowed my mind to that fact so that I don’t end up heartbroken like I know some of my niggas would feel after this period is over. Forever alone is the path I find myself walking down, I chose not this path, it chose me. It feels great though when I eat from the cakes of other people because I know I’m also injesting the love that came with the cake, who knows, it might just stir up some latent love potential in me. When the cards are read, I also laugh at them because I know somewhere out there, some will do the same for me even though it might be years from now. The years have been harsh and unkind during this period; I have never gone through a Valentine’s Day without feeling a slight pang of jealousy at those people that exchange gifts and have open shows of emotion, yes, even at my parents too. The last one was not so bad, at least I had my fill of cake from my roommates and even got a sympathetic greeting from a friend’s girlfriend; call me desperate but that was my best ever. I have seen people exchange gifts, I have even helped boyfriends proof-read their messages to their girlfriend, I have judged the kind of message that was being portrayed through the gift that was given or received; this is the utmost height of being forever alone. But I’m not really complaining oh, at less I’m not torn about what to send to anybody. No pressure at all!!! I am kind of a lazy person when it comes to this sort of thing, I am to blame for my predicament. Keeping a relationship would be a very difficult task for me because, oh well, I really do not know how to put an effort into making it work. Going out of my way to please somebody, public shows of emotion and the rest, I’m too lazy for that kind of stuff.

So, when the day came and went without any show for me, I was not surprised; I was not even phased a bit. I had expected it. It was just a wake-up call for me to go and kick-start my own relationship but alas, I am too lazy. After one day of ginger, it slowly passes away like the wind and I realise “Aint nobody got time for that!!!” and I’m back to the old me again, happy ol’ me, forever alone me. My only form of consolation is that I’m not the only person out there experiencing this, people are coping with far much more. Some just realised they were in the friendzone and others, worst of all, got dumped but, oh well, life goes on. So, to my commodores out there, to all those who never received a Valentine’s gift, to all those who were not expecting anything, to all the solo niggas, I wish you all A FOREVER ALONE VALENTINE from me to you, no homo…

P.S. Dear ladies out there, you are not making it easy for a nigga at all. I have faced the cold shoulder, the friendzone and even, the no-show ones. I have tried, now I am throwing myself out there (this is not an act of desperation). I need a Valentine’s gift oh. I don’t mind it being late at all, provided it is for me. I can even give you my contact, just get me a gift, please!!!!


  1. Pingback: ANOTHER FOREVER ALONE VALENTINE | The Written Rantings Of A Cunning Linguist

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