ANOTHER FOREVER ALONE VALENTINE

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So once again, I’m having to round up another Valentine’s day on a boring note. Nothing really stood out for me today. It’s not like I was really expecting anything to start with but it would have been nice for somebody to just pleasantly surprise me. Oh well, if wishes were horses… But really, I don’t like the hype and pressure that comes with Valentine’s day. Everything is blown out of proportion and well, I feel it’s like a kind of bondage for my good friends in relationships. I have always been sulking about me not having a significant other but when I look at the alternative, I find out that it’s none the better. Each phase comes with its own cross and well, I’m going to be talking a bit about the pressures of Valentine.

Now all over the world, gifts are being exchanged, vows are being reaffirmed and sexual juices are being wasted. For someone like me, it’s far too much. I have as much romantic awareness as a mouse sitting in a laboratory waiting to be dissected. You might say it’s because I am not in love right now but frankly, I’ve been there once and it did nothing to change me. I’m still the same clueless rascal I have always been. There are times when I had to go all mushy and do some romantic shit but it was on my own terms and not because a calendar date dictates it to me. I think the rarity of such occasions are what caused my relationship to crash and burn but I never regretted it for one bit. Valentine’s day is just a day to show some love for me. Acts of kindness and good words are enough. If you have a spouse, a simple message is enough. If your creative and romantic juices mix together, you can do something extraordinary to blow your significant other away. If you can get gifts too, get them. An period of good sexing wouldn’t hurt nobody It is a period of love for everybody.

I think the major reason for my loveless life has to do with the chorus of J. Cole’s “Forbidden Fruit”. Bitches come and go, money comes and goes, love comes and goes. I have never had luck with the ladies. Not because I’m not attracted to them but simply because I tend to lose interest quickly.Its not like I have not done anything to try and change that but I’ve found out that it comes as reflex. I’m cool as a friend even one with benefits until it seems like there is a relationship ahead and then my defense mechanism kicks in and I lose interest in the whole and bitches come and go. Second thing is I’m about as financially stable as a hamster running on a rickety wheel and in this age where your financial status determines your relationship status, who am I to compete? You can get a relationship with sweet mouth and charm but your money is what keeps the engine running. Love is too abstract for me. I don’t know what it is hence I can’t even smell it when it’s in the air. Or maybe I’m too chicken to smell it because it will break my tough guy facade. Either way, it has turned me into the person I am today: BAELESS.

Now away from my personal life, the pressure you people bring on yourselves this period is quite amazing. The constant need to outdo one’s self and friends is something I don’t quite understand. The competition is way too much. One girl gets this and all of a sudden, you want that too or even better. Cut your cloak according to your cloth and stop placing unrealistic demands on guys. And also, you should give gifts too. Not those dirty cupcakes you bring but real gifts. Lets see how well you know your man. The sex, don’t even get me started on that. Billions of sperm cells are being wasted today in an effort to show love. Well, sex is normal until you make it a criteria for something. Then, you’re just being an ass. The excessive frivolities that come up on this day makes me one of the front-runners of those wishing the day be abolished. The pressure of expectancy and the pain of loneliness is too much to bear.

You might say this is my own lamentation for not having anybody special to share the day with, for not receiving any message of affection at all and for having to watch other people get attention and you would not be very far from the truth. But in truth, I’m far better off this way. If I belong to the other team, I will definitely break someone’s heart because I won’t buy any gifts and if I do, it would be once in a while. My words and the knowledge that I care about you is enough. It wouldn’t speak much of me if I do this only to return to being the boring person I was yesterday. I miss the fact that I wasn’t around any of my guys today. Might have gotten the chance to eat the customary Valentine cupcake. So here I am, idling away, knowing that next Valentine, if I get to see it, would still find me the same way I am now. Nothing will change. To all the other people out there in the world like me: I wish you another FOREVER ALONE VALENTINE.

P.S: After reading Ifeoma’s blog, I suddenly remembered that the previous date for the presidential elections fell on Valentine’s day. I knew a lot of guys were looking to use it to dodge a bullet. The welfare of Nigeria is more important than a relationship hence Nigeria is bae. But somehow, the date of the elections was postponed. Now I have a theory that the Association Of Angry Girlfriends in Nigeria strongly vetoed this date and lobbied for it to be postponed. That or some political propaganda on the part of the incumbent government. Whichever way it happened, it sure coerced some guys who didn’t plan on having a valentine to do so.

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