MY OGA

So yesterday, I grew a newfound respect for my oga. I usually don’t think much of him but yesterday’s events made me look at him in a newer light. I will tell you a story.

There is this female colleague of mine who came over for a visit. I had been wanting to get to know her for a while and her coming over was a real chance for that to happen. Now I was at work but I decided to entertain her for a bit. We played for a while. I even got to eat food because I was damn hungry. But somewhere along the line, our discussion became heated. This is a very important part of this story because my oga is fond of heated discussions. The truth is he loves telling people off. It’s his thing, the way God made him. So he always lurks around for moments like this so he can show off. The thing was our conversation was about her and it was getting personal sha. I was tongue-lashing her like crazy and I felt she couldn’t handle it anymore. Anyway, I knew my oga. I knew he was around but I was curious to see what would happen.

Well, somehow sha, she decided to call it off when things were getting too exciting and I decided to oblige her. I had riled her up a bit so I was winning. We decided to watch the television instead. We had gone halfway through a programme when things got heated up again. I started with her again, touching on points that made her squirm. The things was that she didn’t mind me sticking my fingers into her business. It was a way to ease off the tension between us. She got up, faced me and the atmosphere there wasn’t conducive and that we should go to her office. I loved that idea. People like her are always so personal about their offices and me, being invited there was a huge step.

Going to her office was where kasala started oh. My oga had hung around too much and decided to step in and give her the telling-off of her life. Somehow, she knew he had been hanging around too (I guess it was an already-known thing about his behaviour) and wanted him to come in. She wanted to see what would happen. Now lemme give you details about my oga. He’s on the big side (like really fat), not so tall and walks with a slight stoop so it’s like he’s bent. So he tried to enter her office but try as he may, his bulk wouldn’t let him. Apparently the company had built a small door for her and it made it difficult for people like that to enter her office. He tried again and this time, succeeded in entering but she jumped away from him in fright, surprised at his bulk. He just stood at the door, waiting for her to talk. I didn’t pay attention to whatever he said to her (I was watching from a distance) but whatever he did to her must have been painful because in less than a minute, she screamed out in pain. Apparently, it must have been physical because she said, “This thing pain me sha.” She was crying, not seriously but well, enough for me to know that he had broken her. My oga just stepped out, holding his head up high. He had risen to the occasion and told off somebody that was proving difficult. Secretly, I was pleased with what he had done. This chic had been forming James Bond since. He did good to put her in her place. I went to console and told her everything was going to be okay. She just took my words but refused against continuing our heated discussion. Try as I may, she adamantly refused. Apparently, she didn’t want to risk my oga being around again.

There was nothing she could do about it. In this department, he was my oga. There was nobody she could tell about it, unless of course, her friends and they too were powerless. No harassment suits would be filed as she had let him come in of her freewill. As I left work yesterday, I was grinning from ear to ear. I had now learnt to fear the power of my oga and his top.

P.S: I don’t work.

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