I had intended to apply for this job as a spoof. My qualifications weren’t up to the standards they were looking for. I had been searching for jobs for quite some time but my field of expertise wasn’t something companies were really looking for these days. I was used to the life of searching through newspaper ads for jobs but these days, everything seems to be placed online. I hate being so techy. It’s as complicated as they get. Anyway, I was scrolling through this job advert centre and I found this really cool job. As a guy whose days are now filled with boredom, it provided me the opportunity to get some fresh air and freedom. I decided to apply even though their specifications were clearly not up my aisle. They wanted some kind of math genius. My level of education is a bit sketchy. I did the basic math stuff but I wasn’t familiar with the type of math person they wanted. They also needed someone who was prolific in the use of certain software. I was computer-literate but that was just it. Those software sounded strange and tough to me but oh well, I could learn something new. They needed someone knowledgeable enough to represent the company in their overseas meeting. I don’t mind travelling but representing a company was a bit of a long shot. And they needed somebody with 15-20 years working experience. I was just fresh out and needed to integrate. How does someone like me have even 10 years working experience? My previous occupation could in no way be classified as work unless these people were purely mad. I haven’t had any type of work in the last 10 years. Nevertheless, I went ahead and applied for the job. I tried to be as vague as possible in my application. I gave few hints about myself, little enough that you couldn’t guess who I was but just enough to pique their curiosity. I was a spoof and I didn’t think it would float but somehow, it did and I was invited for an aptitude test.

Some kind of deity must have been grinning at the mischief he had just wrought. I was nervous about the test. Being around many people wasn’t my thing anymore. It wasn’t like I hadn’t done it before but that was a different me. That me wasn’t shy around people, had terrific people skills and always had smile for everyone. This changed, or should I say, reformed me felt somewhat uncomfortable being amongst people. I was bound to run into someone who would recognize me and it would turn awkward and go downhill from there. My friends still advised me to go. Alfred and Caitlyn promised it would good chance for me to make a fresh start and also, integrate myself with the society. Who knows? I could make new friends. My circle of friends is really small at this point. So I was cajoled into going and it wasn’t such a bad idea. I felt really uncomfortable at first but then a bit of the old me started coming back and I began to feel at ease. I had read wide range of books about events and basic stuff which I needed to know in preparation for the test and I was ready to face the test. During the test though, I found some of the questions quite tough. Some were even outside my scope of thinking. I probably wouldn’t be able to answer them, given all the time in the world. You would think this would put me off and ruffle my feathers but I just giggled at each question and continued answering. Considering the number of tough questions I faced, my giggles became quite ridiculous and attracted attention. I could hear whispers and murmurs and eyes staring coldly at me. I was disturbing other participant but I didn’t care anyway. I kept at it and by the time the exam was over, I burst into an unhuman laughter. I tried to curb it but it was late. It attracted more attention than all my giggles combined. I didn’t care about the stares anymore. I had finally integrated into the society, just not the way Alfred and Caitlyn had thought.

Again, I was shocked when I got called for the interview. Surely, my test scores were poor and my behavior during the test should have lost me a chance for an interview but somehow, that didn’t happen. Whatever deity was pulling the strings, he must be a sicko, out to have a good laugh. If these people had an idea of who I am or rather, was, I wouldn’t even have been allowed a chance to apply for any job in the company but here I am, preparing to go for an interview. Again, I had turned to Alfred and Caitlyn for advice and they told me to keep calm, be myself and everything would work out fine. The truth is me being myself is the last thing they would really want. I hadn’t told anyone yet but over the past few days, I was slowly reverting to that person again, the old me. Lots of time, I have listened to that track by T.I and Justin Timberlake “Dead and Gone” and continued to reassure myself that that part of my life was over. I was moving on to other things and it was for the better. But still, I crave that life of freedom, the rush of pleasure, the giggles and laughs. I have tagged this interview “The Meet with Matsui*” because I clearly have no idea what I was going face when I get inside. How would they react? How would I react? I need something to clear my head. I needed to be able to walk into that room with the confidence I once had. Then, it comes to me what I must do. Really I have always wanted to try it to see what it felt like once again. Dressing up was always something I was worried about. I didn’t know what type of suit to wear. Everybody says a black suit and white shirt is the ideal outfit for an interview but that was too mainstream. I needed them to remember me. I needed to create a lasting impression.

So I went down to the basement and dragged up my old dressing kit from where it was locked away. It was still intact and perfect. I’m glad I didn’t destroy as was suggested. I began to dress in front of the mirror. I was becoming myself again. This was going to shock Alfred and Caitlyn. By the time I was done, all I had to do was one more thing: apply my red lipstick. My make-up was perfect. The white paint, the black eyeliner, even my dyed green hair. All that was left was that lipstick and of course, you never leave home without a smile. I smelled the air as I stepped out and it was perfect. I had been tucked away in Arkham for way too long. It’s good to be back.


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