THE SHIT TEAM CALLED ARSENAL

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I have taken quite a sabbatical from this blog life. Not that I haven’t been writing but that the pieces do not possess the needed blogworthiness; hence, the drawn out silence from this end of the internet. But here I am again to give you a piece of my mind to wrap your head around. This might seem quite shabby considering the long break but fear not, like every particularly annoying rant of mine, it is filled with emotion, lots of it. So as I dance my fingers on the keys of my keyboard, here goes nothing…

I swore to keep away football rants; decided to bottle everything inside me because I am not quite the articulate analyst so my rants are based on bias and emotion but there’s a limit to which you can bottle stuff up and it threatens to explode and consume your entire being. I have watched in patience as a club I love (used to, as I currently do not give a shit again) shatters all my hope and desires for them. I have waited in bated breath for them to spring up some surprise and seize the bull by its horns; waited for them to come out and surprise everybody and silence the critics who have called them good-for-nothing. But alas I have wasted all my expectations on players who are not up to scratch and a thickheaded, recalcitrant manager. Arsenal, see what you’ve caused!!!

Father Lord in heaven, I wish to speak with you. Forgive me for I have sinned; I am an Arsenal fan. I cannot question your judgement but one thing I would like to know is why I am an Arsenal fan? Where was I when people were learning to love the likes of Barcelona, Bayern Munich, Real Madrid etc? Father, why have I been plagued to love this Arsenal team? I have tried to unlove them but alas it’s not been easy. At times, I have called myself a sadomasochist because it’s the only explanation for why I love to be with someone who puts me through so much pain. For years on end, I have watched myself get disappointed and gave found myself give excuses for why they were not up to scratch. “Our key players were injured”, “The decisions have been against us”, blah blah blah… I have offered up these reasons trying to reduce the blame on the players’ playing abilities and the decisions of the manager. Alas, I have washed my face and the scales have fallen from my eyes. Arsenal is shit.

Yes, they have been shit for quite a while now. And the bulk of the blame falls on the manager and his clueless coaching crew. I am pretty sure there are some members of staff who are dissatisfied with the way he’s leading the club but they won’t speak up. Why? Are you people sucking his balls? It’s annoying to see your team refuse greatness vehemently. “Arsenal, see greatness; take it… No, we don’t want we like the view from here.” That has been our motto for the past decade now.  Our manager refuses to bring in the right players choosing to stick with the bunch of mediocres he is accustomed to. ‘O ti sun mi o’ I am tired of this kind of life. Before every single starts, you are deceived to believe the season is our season and that there’s hope. This is the second biggest lie I’ve ever heard (only trumped by the Nigeria vs India 100 – 1 match). They let you dream and believe so that they can shatter your dreams in grand style. Enough is enough though. That old Frenchman must go!!! #WengerOut

Finally, it’s the people who go in to watch these matches at the stadiums; those who have season tickets. Aren’t you people fed up? Is it until the heart attack comes and they use a defibrillator on you before you people will leave? The way my life is now I will not deny being an Arsenal fan but I don’t care about what happens to the club. The last of my fucks has been expended while writing all these. I am tired gaan. They think it’s me they are doing but they are doing themselves. They are mad but it has not been made known to them

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