No Cojones

So you stand in front of people and you’re tongue-tied

Giant beads of sweat break out on your forehead

Run down your face down to chin and drip on your shoes

You lose all form of coordination in various parts of your body

 

It starts with your brain

The words you know are there won’t just come readily

You thought they were so deeply ingrained

That you didn’t have to think to draw them out

Now everything falls apart

And your brain cells seem to have taken a hike

 

Your eyes are next up

They just stare without really looking

You are scared to look into the eyes of the people

So you look straight ahead at an emptiness

Which your brain has made as an escape

Your peripheral view gives you a glimpse of monsters

The faces of the people now seek to devour you

They cajole your face

Seeking to drag down your eyes

They taunt you constantly daring you to face them

But you stare straight ahead

Into the emptiness

Hoping this would all end swift

With the ground opening up and swallowing you whole

 

Then it flows to your tongue

It just becomes a flaccid and heavy lump of flesh

Laying uncomfortably in mouth

Nothing seems to come out right from it

You stammer out incoherence

And slur syllables like a drunk

You can taste the fear at the back of your throat

As it rolls to the tip of your tongue

Even your teeth betray you

As they clamp down painfully on your clumsy tongue

 

Your hands are also not safe

Your palms are wet and shaking uncontrollably

You try to hide it

But it doesn’t go away

You are now aware that your arms are for fancy

Hanging uncomfortably from your shoulders

They seem out of place

And you wonder where you can tuck them away

 

Your knee joints turn to jelly

And leave your knees feeling wobbly

You can feel knock against each other

Threatening to leave you sore and knock-kneed

 

You thought you had prepared for this moment

Long before you took the stage

You told yourself you would be as tough as steel

And hard as nails the moment you climbed up

However, the moment your name was called up

Your mind became jelly

Your confidence flew swiftly away

Gone with the whirlwind

A cold chill settled upon you

And froze up your will

Life is quite difficult

When you’re painfully shy

You might picture yourself

As a giant in your head

But when the real world hits you

You find out that truly

You have no cojones

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