Spark Of Insanity

You ever get ticked off? Or really pissed off? Or whatever phrase you want to use? It’s like one minute you look really sane and calm and the next minute, you go off like a land mine, exploding with reckless abandon. In that moment, your sanity doesn’t matter, it doesn’t feel like something worth holding on to. It basically feels like a huge weight holding you back from expressing your primal urges. Because that’s what anger is, an expression of our primal and animal instincts. Your emotions have been kept bottled up for so long and suddenly, the container is no longer big enough to hold it so it blows. It’s usually a series of events piling up like tinder and flammables, setting up for a major conflagration. It takes just a spark to ignite it. It might be a word or action or even a gesture; just something which ignites that spark of insanity and threatens to burn the entire house to the ground.

Anger has been one of those issues man has to deal with. You can never get rid of your anger. It’s impossible. It’s one of the few vices men are permitted to live with. You can only control your anger but you cannot eliminate it. It is a heat of passion moment except your passion is to cause harm and hurt. Nobody gets enraged and thinks of caring for something. Your first instinct is to cause destruction, wreak havoc… Anger is blind. It cannot be reasoned with. You want to hurt anything and everything within sight. It’s a conflagration which consumes you and in that moment, anyone can get it. It is an expression of your inner demons. There are those thoughts which pop into your head of their own volition; thoughts which, to your normal state of mind, seem totally ridiculous and insane. You probably refuse to mull over them for long and shove them down to the recesses of your brain and lock them away. Anger dredges those thoughts and brings them to the fore of your mind and because they are your dark thoughts, it feasts gladly on them and randomly picks out one for you to act on, depending on the situation and how angry you are.

An expression of anger is common however because it provides you with a release. All that pent up emotion needs an outlet or else, you’ll end up imploding and causing your mind harm. Anger fuels you with so much adrenaline that in your angry state, you could do things that would otherwise have been totally impossible and unthinkable for you. The sad thing is that all this energy is usually channeled down a path of regrettable actions. If anger could be harnessed as an energy source, I swear we would have all the energy we could ever need. In your angry state, you are invincible and know no limitations, all men are equal and beneath you; you become the law and a god unto yourself. The one thing with anger is that it is a path of regrettable actions. Actions which lead to regret or the end of your life as you know it. Whatever action or decision taken in anger is barely productive and in the heat of passion, you cannot foresee the future; you refuse to foresee the future.

Learning to control anger is one of the toughest tasks a man can ever undertake. Your mind just loves anger. It loves the release. It dislikes control because it has restrictions. But in anger, everything goes out the window, letting your animal instincts take over. Some people hate cooling off their anger for fear that their conscience would gravely condemn their actions. They hop from one situation to another, infuriated and enraged, refusing to let go. As people differ, so do the means of controlling their anger differ. People have different spans and lengths to which they can carry off their anger. For some people, a simple walk could the trick (I once walked a distance of over 15km to cool off), for others, days have to pass before they can calm down. We all know what makes us tick or what pisses us off. You try as much as possible to stay away from such situations. We can also plan for anger; make out possible outlets for venting out without causing lasting damage or none at all, play out different scenarios and possible reactions in our head… All these to break the jinx. If we have these deep in our subconscious, whenever how anger alarm bell rings, we can hack into the system and carry out one of these actions to minimize damage. Try to work on your anger issues. And always, pray.

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