It took me about 5 years of listening to Adele’s Someone Like You before I finally decoded a hidden meaning to the song. All this while, I had been blinded by the beautiful vocal of Miss Adkins and hadn’t really bothered to read between the lines. It took one of my quiet moments in the communal Lagos jalopy also known as ‘danfo’ to come to a strange conclusion. Maybe it was the air in the danfo or maybe I’m just speed-balling here but a careful analysis of the verses revealed it wasn’t just a mere heartbreak song but that of vicious vixen, on the edge of a psychotic breakdown, will to take down her previous lover just to satisfy her selfish cravings. Continue reading
As a kid, I always wanted to be an artist. At that time, my definition of art was being able to draw and an artist, to me, was someone who could draw cartoons or real-life pictures. Turns out I really sucked at drawing. I was lousy with a pencil. My figures were too ugly to be even called figures. They were appalling. Even my stick figures were horrible. My pieces were incoherent. I greatly envied those who could casually doodle on paper and come out with wonderful pieces of art. I made them my friends, hoping I could learn from the way they positioned their hands when they drew and somehow, snatch a bit of inspiration from them; but till date, I still suck at drawing. Continue reading
Social media can be, scratch that, is a powerful tool. It is constantly shaping the world we live in every day. The world is now a system of global communication and social media is leading the charge of the new world order. The internet is a place for information. Nothing seems to be hidden under the sun these days. Everything is laid bare for all to see with the push of a few buttons.
In shaping the world, users of these platforms have developed a pseudo world, different from the one we live. A world of perfection. A world where all ideals are accepted and if you oppose any of them, there are vicious and savage wolves ready to tear down your image and give you a piece of their mind. This is the age of being politically correct, where everything you say, can and will be used against you. You have to go with the flow and accept the ideals of the internet society or face their wrath. If you take a stand in an opinion which is contrary to society’s appeals, you are branded an outlaw and society will not hesitate to drag you in the mud and point out all your flaws.
I want a girlfriend
A girl to talk to and freely express my feelings with
A damsel whom I can laugh at and laugh with
A maiden with whom it feels right to express my numerous fears
A lady to share my pain with A female who makes me feel proud
A woman to love and cherish
Relationships can be fun to talk about but let’s digress and focus a bit on the Nigerian economy. Now I am no economy expert and tend to stay off this economy palaver talk because, to tell you the truth, I’m currently earning zilch. I believe if you are not making money or paying tax, you have no right to complain about the state of the Nigerian economy. But there’s only so much a citizen can take before he starts wailing about the failed Nigerian system. The present Nigerian economy is the result of a failed system running for years. It is like the Titanic just when it hit the iceberg and with no form of a solution, present or future, most Nigerians, with the means, are making the only viable move left: Abandon ship!
With all the brouhaha going on social media about the relationship and marriage world, it felt imperative that I chip in my little bit about it all. Now I am no expert in any of these and I’m probably, in fact, the wrong person to talk about these, seeing as I’m not involved in any one of them but from the numerous tales and learned observations, it is quite difficult not to draw conclusions about how these things work. The main question is: Why are you going into this relationship? If you can answer that question with all sincerity and with the best of intentions, there’s no way any problem can throw you off guard when you eventually get into it.
The roller coaster of events happening in life right now has forced me to look back and try to reevaluate my life in a more critical light. I am probably facing what is the worst crisis in my life at the moment. Every time I look ahead, I see no light at the end of the tunnel. Sometimes, these crazed thoughts pop into my head to end it all and take the suffering away. It would be a bitch move but it would surely get the job done. It’s cowardice to run away but hey, is it cowardice if it ends my suffering from a seemingly endless path of constant ridicule and agonizing thoughts? I have been thinking and thinking and pondering. Whatever conclusion I arrive at makes my decision for me. I am facing issues and there is no bit of motivation to push or drive me towards some purpose. The people you would think hold my interest best at heart seem not to understand me hence what they call a pep talk is a constant hammer blow to a nail in a coffin. I’m like a pool of despair where there is no motivation; I cannot bring myself out of this ditch. If I’m thinking of biting the proverbial bullet, it’s only fair I leave a suicide note. Hence, the title, “If I wrote a suicide note…” Continue reading
I’m blank. I always knew I would get to this point; where there’s finally no topic which seems plausible enough to write about. Whenever I attempt to type, it’s basically pieces of short paragraphs of uncoordinated and incoherent topics which I end up deleting before I disappoint myself with embarrassment.I pride myself with being able to squeeze out seemingly interesting details from most tedious and boring of topics; my life is quite droll and I’m plagued with the need to see the humour and light side of any subject.